If I was to tell you what was whirling around my head at this moment in time, you would be mortified. Let’s just say I AM not happy with some members of my family, but hey hoe you can’t choose your family…
Last week was literally the mother of all weeks and hell broke loose on every level. My main discord and is personally doing my head in, is the callousness and lack of respect some people have towards a person’s life.
Now my natural reaction when I see someone at deaths door, is to save them at any length. Even if that person is massively depressed and suicidal, a ‘normal’ person, like myself, would move heaven and earth to save their life. It’s just what people do instinctively or is it?
Seems the growing pathological nature of society, has little or no consideration for the life of a person whether young or old. Logan’s Run comes to mind here.
Dear God, please do not bring me to the point of thinking, where I can look at a dying person with such detachment, that I couldn’t care less. Amen/Amum
I feel tonnes better today, after a horrible experience in a tunnel yesterday – that tunnel being a MRI scan for my neck.
Well I jollied into the scanning room quite positive, even though my sister’s last experience with the MRI scanner invaded my mind. I nervously laughed and commented to the lovely assistant, that it looked like a large polo. We giggled a little and then she told me to lie down on the scanner.
I was fitted up like Luke Skywalker with plastic glasses and a white plastic neck piece. She put the headphones on me, asking which radio station I preferred and I slotted my head snugly into the head section.
She gave me two cables with buttons on – one was a volume switch, I think and the other was a panic button. Hmm… I thought to myself, why a panic button? Then thoughts of panic engrossed my fear and my heart started to knock against my ribs, screaming “Let me out!”
No, no, no, I thought to myself, You can do this, just take some deep breaths.
The scanner buzzed as it lifted up to slot me into the polo centre and as I started to enter the space, the white walls sucked me into its vortex and knocked my arms into position.
Oh God! I screamed in my head, I don’t like this! As the scanner swallowed me up, I clenched my eyes shut and shouted “How long does this take?”
The assistant replied while walking out of the room, “Oh fifteen to twenty minutes.”
Holy crap – NO WAY! I thought shouted.
The machine clunked to a stop and I had no idea how deep I had gone into the polo. Believe me I didn’t feel mint at all! 🙂 The radio whispered in my ear and I tried to focus on the music.
Just pretend you’re on the sunbeds getting a tan. I continued to console myself, but my breathing was becoming shallow, as I rigidly stayed deathly still.
Soon be over, soon be over… I kept repeating to myself. Not long now – WHOA! The machine banged and bleeped sirens and my heart hastened a quicker beat.
Dear God help! I prayed, and all the while the radio whispered in my ears, as I strained to listen to the music, over the banging and whirring.
Yikes what was that? I shouted to myself, as the machine jolted me forward. Don’t open your eyes, don’t open your eyes. Said my consoling voice in my head. Not be long now, just keep breathing.
The scanner beeped, whirred, banged and rattled and I could feel the magnetic energy swirling around my head. Wow that feels weird. I thought to myself and then my mind disappeared into thought.
Recently I had watched The Matrix on TV and when the men were in the pods, I thought, Oh my gosh, I feel like I am an avatar and being transported to another planet. Is this what it feels like when you die?
I kept my eyelids tightly closed and refused to look at my encroaching white walls, which spoke buzz language.
I really felt like I do when I go into deep meditation and floated into my body, to my safe place. My soul was free from my body, as I imagined beautiful beaches and turquoise sea.
However, in between these images were a heart beating a different rhythm, as its gentle but quick beat knocked against my ribs.
A song beat out through the earphones and I could just about make out what it was, but I can’t remember it now.
Surely it can’t be much longer now? I asked myself and then a voice I recognised gently reassured me, “Not long now sweetheart, you’re doing ever so well.”
Mum, is that you? I telepathically communicated. “Yes, sweetheart it is.” Replied my mum.
Oh mum, I don’t like this, I’m going to freak out any second! I communicated to her.
“No you’re not, just breath and you’ll be fine – not long now…” She reassured.
“No, not much longer now Lesley, keep calm.” Said another familiar male voice.
Oh you’re here too are you? I telly thought.
“Yes, of course I am, I wouldn’t let you go through this on your own.” He continued.
Thanks, that’s good to know, but…
I stopped in telly thought, as the scanner clumped, whirred a siren noise and clunked again, jolting me. Suddenly I felt the lights of the room welcome my tightly shut eyelids; feeling like the sun reappearing from behind a cloud, when you’re sunbathing on the beach. I opened my eyes and breathed a sigh of relief.
“Oh thank goodness that is done!” I exclaimed to the assistant as she entered the room. “I could hardly hear the radio with the noise of the machine.”
“You should have bleeped us and told us to turn it up.” She replied. “Oh, I thought that button was just the panic button.” I questioned her.
“No we could have turned it up for you.” She confirmed.
“Okay, maybe next time I will – I really didn’t like that at all. How long does it take to do your whole body?” I enquired.
“Forty-five minutes.” She replied. “Hmm I wouldn’t like to experience that.” I murmured under my breath.
I got up from the platform and proceeded into the dressing room. My thoughts whirled through my head and tried to catch up with my emotional state. I looked in the dressing room mirror and my eyes glistened deep turquoise, as I flicked my look to my mermaid blue shiny tresses in my hair.
“Oh heck!” I swung around and went to see the assistant. “I have metal in my hair, don’t I with these coloured tresses?”
“I saw them and thought they were coloured extensions. You didn’t feel them flying around in the scanner did you?” She enquired.
“No I don’t think so, but I felt something weird like waves of magnetic fields around my head.” I concernedly replied.
“Oh it won’t have done any harm.” She said.
I wafted myself back into the changing room and quickly got dressed. We said our thanks and appreciations and I left the building.
How weird was that – yuck I didn’t like that at all! I thought to myself and then once in the car my phone buzzed and my friend called.
To Conclude
So that was a little of what happened to me today but another couple of blogs I have recently wrote are not ready yet to convey. However, the PAST BLOGS below are about another chance and about spiritual love.
Do I speak to Jesus?
Do I hear spirits talking to me?
Well clearly I do and it was my dad’s voice that told me to go to my stepmother’s house on Thursday afternoon. If I had not gone that day, then my stepmother would have died that night… Even the A & E nurse said “You must have a sixth sense.” And I replied… “I do…”
Quite a few goose pimples over the last few days, in between the noise of avid Tour de France cycling fans which invaded our village peace.
Have a great day and in Jesus’ name, peace be with you and God Bless… xxx